Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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