So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
