so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
