You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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