Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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