why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My ass is underappreciated
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize