hell yes lets make some ravioli
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
how drunk are you?
Several
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
