are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
