My brain says no but my pants say off.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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