did you get engaged???
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
