Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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