how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
