another moral hangover. fuck.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
