She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
