I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
