I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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