I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she peed on how many people?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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