Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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