I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
