it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
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The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
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And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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