They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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