She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
