All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
