the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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