from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
