were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
