would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
