I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
