In the future we'll all be gay
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
