I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize