3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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