I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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