i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
