Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
