how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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