Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
