I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize