You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
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