Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You took a bar mat shot.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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