Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
