Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
