remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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