Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
