I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
he puts the penis in happiness.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
