Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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