He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
well you can't waste a boner
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
