Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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