He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
