Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize