I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Randomize
