Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
My pussy is not your playground.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize