I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
