he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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