She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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