Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm way too hungover for life right now
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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