i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
