How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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