Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
