I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Randomize
