he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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