What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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